I've been battling with the decision of whether or not to stay home full-time with Harper since last May when our nanny quit. We easily found a wonderful girl from our church to cover the summer months, but once July came around I again wrestled with the options of being a stay-at-home-mom or finding yet another nanny or daycare. Before starting at MSAADA in 2008, I always thought this decision would be so easy and that I would stay home. I wasn't counting on having a job that I loved and wouldn't want to leave. I've also been very fortunate to have an employer who has been very flexible with my new role as a mom and allowing me to work four days a week and then 3 ten hour days a week.
I'll skip spilling every thought that went through my mind during this process because they were endless, conflicting, and confusing. To summarize, I loved my job and didn't want to quit, yet I also didn't want to find a center or stranger to watch our little boy. I used to work in a center and know it's not for us, and we certainly don't trust craigslist or other care finding services. We started spreading the word about our child care needs to friends and church without any recommendations or leads for a new nanny. Our time to make a decision was quickly running out, and the decision wasn't getting any easier.
After days and weeks of going back and forth and struggling to make up my mind, I finally decided once and for all that I was going to stay home full-time and put my career on hold. I knew there wasn't a bad decision to be made, so that helped, but I dreaded going to my boss and giving my notice. It's so hard to leave a place you feel so connected to doing work that matters. I am happy with my decision and will cherish the time I spend with Harper and any other kids we may have in the future. I will miss MSAADA and will stay connected as best I can through volunteering and maybe working every once in a while when they need extra project help.
For my last day they treated me and everyone to lunch at Cristos, a wonderful Greek restaurant near our work. The firm director gave me a gift, a book titled Why Architecture Matters. I'm so thankful for the time I've been at MSAADA, for the experience I've gained and for the contributions I've been able to make. I hope someday I will either be back at MSAADA or find something as fulfilling and inspiring.
And so it begins, a new chapter in my life as a stay-at-home-mom.
1 day ago
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Wow, tough decision. Once in a while I struggle with being upset because I know it will be many months, maybe years before I start pursuing the profession I love, conference interpreting. It´s hard to give it all up, especially when I see my former classmates working, or when I have to decline job offers... But then I realized something - I have maybe some 40 years of active employment ahead of me, but my children´s real childhood, the time when they need me and when I need to be there for them, will only last maybe some ten, fifteen years... and I realize that right now, the most valued profession for me is to be a mom. Time flies so fast, Fanda is growing up so fast, our second baby is just 8 weeks from being born... I want to be content with enjoying every single moment of this time. I don´t want someone else caring about them, teaching them about life, influencing them, loving them in my place, being with them... It´s not always easy, especially when working would mean doing something I love. But I still think it´s worth it and that I will have plenty of time to work in the years to come. Plus I´m selfish and don´t want to share Fanda with anyone :-)
Thanks for your thoughts, Jana. I had many of those same thoughts when making my decision. It's encouraging to hear from driven moms like yourself and know that it is possible to be a full-time mom and someday have a career too. Now that I've been home for a week or so, it's hard to imagine being away and missing so many treasured moments.
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