My new friend Kati recently posted "Refections of a WoMOM" on her blog. Being a WoMOM (working mom) is something I've been wrestling with for a couple months now, and I've heard echoing struggles throughout all new moms I know. If the cost of living was less, I think our society would see many more moms opting to stay home with their kiddos until grade school. But alas, with daily living costs weighed down with student loans (etc.), most of us are searching for affordable child care and a balance between being a mom and working.
We've been lucky up until now with friends and family taking care of Harper (how can you beat grandmas taking care of your little one?!), but now are settling into a more permanent arrangement. I never thought I'd be one to send my baby to daycare, especially not full time. Even after working in an infant room for a year and a half myself, I know that's just not something I want for my baby. Plus, at what point does the cost of daycare start negating your earnings or at least make them seem negligible?
Another aspect of the WoMOM struggle is your career. After graduation, it took me 2.5 years to find a job in Architecture! It was well worth the wait, as I love my job at MSAADA. It is a wonderful firm to work for. I've contributed and learned so much. Even though I really enjoy my work, thoughts of Harper and the desire to be caring for him flood my mind throughout the day as I sit at my desk. I thought it would get easier, but it seems to be getting worse.
What are your experiences and thoughts about being a working mom? Or maybe you stay at home...what are your experiences and insights? It comes down to sacrifices and the bottom line. I'd love to hear your thoughts and/or advice! Since my babe is sleeping soundly, I'd better scarf down some lunch and work on those dishes!
1 day ago
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*sigh* I know that I will be in your exact same position in a few short months, and already feel what you are going through! I cannot imagine leaving my little one at daycare monday through friday 8-5, but I know that we have little choice. I'm very anxious about it all, but I know that so many woman and families have this arrangement and they make it work. I hope you are able to find a great balance and be happy with your decisions whatever they may be! That's what I'm hoping for us.
I just went way back on your facebook page to find your blog link:) I'll bookmark it this time!
Being a "Womom" is such a struggle for me (and I've only been back for a week). I found this week that I especially felt "guilty" when I was enjoying work because I felt like I should be missing Charlie. In my perfect world, I would job-share and just teach part-time. Maybe in a year or two? Or when the next baby comes? We'll see! For now, I so appreciate the support and understanding of my other womom friends!
You have to do what is best for you. Period. It is tough and I sometimes wish I could stay at home all the time. But, I do find that I need fulfillment in something that I want to do (probably the way you feel about architecture). But, I promise you that Harper will know you are his mommy, and that you love him, even if you go to work. It is important to find a place that you are 100% comfortable with. My advice is not to think of it as daycare - think of it as an early education center. I don't think my kids went to a daycare, because the quality of care was so high and they really focused on learning. Bottom line, don't let anyone make you feel guilty on what you decide. There is sometimes a war of words between working moms and stay at home moms - which is unfortunate. I think both sides judge and they shouldn't. I think I would have a hard time as a stay at home mom, and I am comfortable saying that (even though I do wish sometimes that I was). My SIL is a stay at home mom, and I know she values it, but she also would like to work. It is a tough decision and you/Josh are the only ones that can make it!
One more thing - there really isn't a working mom support group. You will find so much of SAHM, but really nothing for working moms. Mommy and me classes are almost always during the work day. This is one thing I have found to be very difficult.
Thanks Jennifer for your insights!
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