Reflections as a S.A.H.M.

Now that I've been a stay-at-home-mom for almost five months and Joshua has been at his new position for just a couple, I feel like we are getting back into a regular rhythm and schedule. Josh works late one evening instead of two and a slightly shorter Saturday, and on the evening he's gone, Harper and I have church activities to keep us busy. I'm able to have some self time each week with my group of Bible study ladies, which leaves typically three evenings as a family. Though I do a majority of the household chores, Josh is always willing to help out when things start to get backed up. What we've found that really works for us is for Josh to get Harper ready for bed most evenings he is home. This gives me a break from mommy duty (I usually do dishes instead or sometimes relax on the couch)and gives Josh quality time with Harper since he is gone most of the day. Harper and his daddy have a special bond and always have a blast bathing, wrestling, reading books, and singing our repertoire of night time songs.

It does get hard sometimes when Josh is required to stay later than usual, as I'm always anticipating him pulling up in front of the house. I'm learning to have more patience as this is part of him now being a manager. During the day, Harper and I fill our time with a variety of activities. I would like to make a more regular weekly schedule, but at this point it's not possible due to watching another little boy (1 year) part time. Since the days and times we have this little boy change weekly, we fit in our activities as we can. Somedays our outing simply consists of a grocery and errand run but others are more fun like visiting the library, children's museum, indoor playground, friends, etc. I've also joined a Mom's Group at church that meets Friday mornings along with a few service events. Even though I'm the youngest mom so far (most moms have kids in preschool or grade school), it's been a great opportunity to develop relationships with other Christian moms, study God's Word, and let Harper have some social time with the other kids in the nursery. A couple activities I would like to add are a toddler music class and occasional swim days. There is a music class just down a few blocks from our house I plan to check out but finding a non-membership based pool is more difficult. Harper and I both enjoy having plenty of activities to get us out of the house and keep us active.

Last week I had the opportunity to work at MSAADA for a day while Joshua had the day off with Harper. It was great to be back in the office and work. It requires a completely different mindset, and I certainly wasn't used to sitting all day anymore. While I thoroughly enjoyed my "day off," it's clear to me now how important it is to me to be home with Harper. I can no longer imagine someone else spending so much time with our little guy, and I'm glad Joshua and I are the ones loving him, teaching him, influencing him, and disciplining him for the majority of the week. I know things would be just fine if Harper was in someone else's care; there's just something amazing about witnessing our child's development day in and out and being the one he turns to after discovering something that makes him say "wow!" or needing comfort and love after an owie.

There are a lot of reminders in life that our family and friends are wonderful blessings and that we are mortal creatures. When I think about my faith and how it should affect the way I live, it's easier to set aside thoughts of wanting or needing a career at this point in my life. What is the purpose of life? Surely designing schools, housing and medical facilities for developing countries is a noble profession. Why wouldn't God want me to be both mom and architect right now? God reminds me that I have a career. I'm a mom and that's enough. It is tempting to want more when I'm inevitably asked by new acquaintances, "What do you do?" After a recent reading and discussion with my Bible study ladies on humility, I'm learning to be okay with simply answering I'm a stay-at-home-mom without also slipping in that I recently worked in an architecture firm or that I sometimes volunteer or go work for them now and again. I'm certainly not ashamed of being a stay-at-home-mom. I cherish it and am glad I'm giving our child all that I can while he's so young. It's just too easy to fall into the trap of feeling less interesting as a person or not accomplished enough. Even though I'm glad women have the rights and opportunities they do today, it might be nice to live in the 'Pride and Prejudice' days when being accomplished meant playing piano well or painting beautiful pictures or in my case sewing lovely quilts and garments...or raising a wonderful family. Being accomplished can mean that, which is why I am doing all I can to be the best at being a mom.

Being a mom requires so much sacrifice and unconditional love. While being home full-time is wonderful, it's also trying and difficult. There are days I would rather slip out the door in the morning than face the challenges of a crabby or energy-less day. Every profession and job has days like these, but the difference with my job is that underneath it all my family is a part of me and I a part of it. There will always be bad days, but the blessings of love and family always prevail. I continue to work hard at making the best of my time at home, and like everything else it is a process with endless room for growth.